So, here's an opinion piece that my son wrote for me the other day (he calls it a report, but it's not):
The Amount of Peanut Butter and Why ( A report)
Have you ever gotten criticized by anyone? For how much peanut butter you put on a peanut butter jelly sandwich or a peanut butter bagel? It has happened to me many times. Why, you ask? Because some people out there are critics. Everyone should be able to put however much peanut butter they want on something, so I’m here to say it. I put a good amount of peanut butter on anything. It’s a fact.
There are many reasons that I am making this claim that everybody should put a certain amount (or more) of peanut butter on ANYTHING. First of all, it is a free country, so everybody should be able to do what they want. If someone just leaves someone to butter their own thing, then the person has every right to put any amount of peanut butter on anything. Also, it’s delicious! It’s irresistible! It should be eaten by anybody, no matter how many times. Lastly, people can treat their health any way they want, s it’s their fault when they die of too much protein.
There are also many reasons why I think I put good amounts of peanut butter on my things. First of all, to all you critics (yes, mom, I mean you), have you ever seen that on peanut butter jars, there’s no suggested serving size? Sure, there’s a regular serving size on the nutrition label, but does it ACUTUALLY suggest how much peanut butter to put on specific things? No, most likely not. Also, if , people should already have out a dish of how much peanut butter they want someone to use if the critic doesn’t want the lover of peanut butter to have a great amount of it. Lastly, the more I, or anyone for that matter, have, then we get a whole lot more protein.
As you can see, all you critical folks, a lot of peanut butter is OK. Wait, it is AWESOME! It gives all sorts of nutrients, and it is very tasty. There are even different kinds, making it even more mouth-watering. Peanut butter should be used by all. They should be able to use any amount of peanut butter they want (even if it kills them).
Yum, Yum, Yum J
Sadly for my boy, his arguments did not work. I still don't let him put 1/2 a tub of peanut butter on three graham crackers.
Still, you've got to admire his tenacity.