Sunday, July 27, 2014

How Did I Get Here?

I hope that I am not the only person who—even in my late forties, and on a somewhat regular basis—finds it repeatedly shocking that I am a grownup.  When I was a kid or a teen, “being an adult” seemed like I would have to be an entirely different person than I was. Yet, while I am indeed very different now than I was at, say, 14, I am…still just me.  I also thought that being an adult meant “having it all together.”  HA! (Enough said on that.) 

I suppose that I came to adulthood later than many people.  I was a "student" until I was 32, after all.  And I didn't have kids until I was 36 (this was largely a result of watching my siblings have kids while I was a teen). Even now, I regularly look at my kids and think: "Who the hell said I was qualified to be your mother? I have no idea what I am doing."  Further, although I have a house and mortgage, it is my husband who understands the mortgage, not me (what are points? I find them as confounding as off-sides in hockey).

But sometimes it just hits me that I am a full-fledged (and card carrying) adult. 

Signs that (for me) indicate that I am a grownup include:
·  When I look at a house, I notice if the roof needs fixing or replacing.
·   The art on my walls is not held up by thumb tacks.
·   I have a Kitchen Aid and a Cuisinart.  And I use them.
·   I have not gone dumpster diving for furniture in many, many years.
·  I have an office.  
·  I have “work clothes.”
·  I go to meetings.  I contribute to them.  I sometimes even run them. 
·  I speak the jargon of my field, and the more specific jargon of my institution (I can—but try not to—use acronyms numerous times in a single paragraph).
·  “My family” can mean the one that I created, not just the one from whence I came.
·  I refer to my husband as “Dad” when I talk to the kids.
·  I have said a eulogy.
·  I have political opinions. 
·  I don’t have to go to any religious institution unless I choose to do so.
·  I look forward to vacations with an aim of doing nothing.

What are the signs that, somewhere along the way, you turned the corner and became a grownup?


  1. I LOVE this! I just found you via Beauty That Moves and couldn't stop reading. We just took our oldest to college for the first time (BU!), so I could add that to my own Grown Up List. I can't wrap my head around the fact that I am the Parent in this scenario. When they were little I used to think to myself "This is the longest babysitting job EVER. When are the real parents coming home??"

    1. HA! I love the "longest babysitting job ever" bit! When I had my first-ever prenatal visit, there was a place for "mother's signature" and for a split second, I thought "Why do they want my mother's signature?"...then it hit me.